s t r a w b e r r y s w i r l

life of a princess

2012-01-22T22:51:00.002+01:00

i have been a princess, for almost all of my life. i have to admit there may have been a few moments when i almost forgot about it, but in the end it always came back to me somehow...

a princess that has lost her prince...i still remember the day when he left like it was yesterday, but it's not...

he left, quietly, no fight, no slamming doors, no yelling, no screaming, nothing. just tears, lots and lots of tears, one or two or three bathtubs full of tears... a little less, maybe, just maybe... tears, darkness, loneliness, pain, numbing pain... no more words, no more nothing... i had lost my kingdom, my future, my sunshine... i had thought nobody could ever take away from you... i was wrong, i still am... so far i did not win my kingdom back and i have no idea how to...

just the two of us...

2012-01-22T22:42:00.002+01:00

wer bin ich, was bin ich, was mache ich, was will ich?

du bist hier und da und doch nicht bei mir

ich will dich bei mir haben

ich will dich nicht

ich sehe dich, ich fühle dich, ich umarme dich

und doch ist alles um mich leer, bedeutungslos

ich weine mich in den schlaf

höre dich, deine tiefe, weiche stimme

wie sie zu mir spricht

versucht mich sanft in den schlaf zu wiegen

ich will dich nicht

will ich dich?!

ich sehe dich

deine großen, dunklen augen

funkelnd in der nacht

lachend wenn sie mich sehen

strahlend

liebevoll

deine hände, weich, warm

immer für mich da

ich will dich nicht

warum will ich dich nicht?

you make me smile

auf meinem weg*

2012-01-04T01:54:00.003+01:00

wir fliegen auf wolken durch die dunkle nacht

ich habe keine angst

du umarmst mich mit deinen worten

ich kann nicht fallen

deine blicke halten mich fest

deine liebe erfüllt das universum

unser universum

ich kann wieder lieben, denn

dein herz hat zu mir gesprochen

you and i

2012-01-02T16:39:00.002+01:00

wenn ich in deine augen sehe,

sehe ich

mich

uns

unser leben

unsere wünsche

unsere träume

unsere zukunft...

dann wache ich auf

und suche deine augen*

my life and yours

2011-02-22T01:39:00.001+01:00

i wish i would change your life. i wish i would be the one that makes a difference.

i am not.

no one but me

2011-02-12T19:26:00.002+01:00

sometimes a man gets carried away, sometimes a man must awake to find that really he has no one....when does that happen? am i waiting for that? lover you should have come over! over and over again and again or not?! what am i doing? i haven t had such a strong feeling in a very long time, did i ever...i know it s right, i just know, i see you, i feel you, i kiss you, i let you go. every time i let you go, it doesn t hurt at all, i know you ll always come back to me. how can i know that, why am i so freaking certain, how can i be. i am. you are my man, you are my man! no matter what happens or how many other men or women there are, everything always takes me back to you. i see, i feel you, i kiss you, i let you go. it doesn t hurt at all, i know you ll come back. i know i will see you, feel you, kiss you and let you go again. and no other men can keep up with that. i keep on lying to myself, trying to convince me that i like any one of them, but i don t, i loose interest within the first 5 minuets, and then i find myself writing you, seeing you, feeling you, kissing you and letting you go....

you me new york

2011-02-06T23:08:00.002+01:00

after a while i moved back to the city, finally. it took me quite some time to figure out that first of all the country side wasnt for me and second what i wanted to do with my life. so here i am feeling happier than ever plus an incredible new apartment, plus an awesome new job, plus being back together with all my favorite people and closest friends - minus one "prince" that i cant seem to let go off.

i know this may come off the wrong way but i called my psychic the other day, yeah, yeah it's something only city girls would do, but hey i am a city girl and talking to your psychic is not about having someone looking into a crystal ball telling you what your future is going to look like, it's about someone helping you to find back on your track, giving you some insight on stuff you do actually already know you are just not ready to admit yet.

life has been pretty good to me ever since i am back, i met tons of new people, friends, acquaintances, men...gallery openings, restaurants, showrooms, parties - everything and anything - my head and body are so full with new impressions, ideas and thoughts that i find it hard to fall asleep at night. i want to take everything in and i dont want to miss anything.

and of course while doing all of this i run into him again and again and again. mr handsome looking more handsome than every plus one girlfriend. i cant get him out of my life and i kind of dont want to. i should be offended by the thought that we are halfway cheating on his girlfriend, but i am not, i am sorry, i am just really not.

worst of all my psychic points him out as this one guy in my life at the moment, i mean seriously, as if i havent met enough of them in the last couple of month, but apparently he is the one who is still there. and yes he is, literally. we email, a lot, we talk on the phone, sometimes, we see each other, rarely, but i just want to enjoy every single minute of it. i adore him and he adores me if there wasnt this one little flaw, this one little ohh so big challenge that i am not sure we will ever over come. we could end up together, that is what i feel, no matter which guy broke a tiny bit of my heart, mr handsome is the only one i think about, the only one i feel over and over again that there is something, something that wont stop. he is there for me, i trust him even though i know i shouldnt, i can always count on him no matter what will happen, i know he would safe me in an instant.

business & pleasure

2010-08-05T15:50:00.001+02:00

Never f*** the company – true. We all know the unpleasant and more than embarrassing occurrences during company Christmas parties or outside normal office hours. The shy lady from accounting teams up with the hot guy from HR, the CEO makes out with his secretary that he’s been working with for the last 20 years; and all we can do is sit by and watch or look the other way.

But in a world where our office turns into our living room and our friends and family only get to see us for five minutes at night before we go to sleep or early in the morning before we rush out to catch the metro, is it really that surprising that we fall head over heels for some emotional closeness with our co-workers? And what about the fact that for women it still is that much harder to build a successful career, so where’s the harm in finding other ways to push a career? Should we really not f*** the company or is it just a matter of how discreet and grown up we can handle this rather delicate situation?

One of my very best friends Mia, the one who is always so lucky with men, has build her entire career around this saying. Every Christmas party, birthday celebration or company dinner Mia attended she paid very close attention to not get drunk, to not send any confusing signals to her male colleagues, leave at a decent time, to be on time the next morning and to not get involved with anyone at any time. Stories about co-workers that have been caught making out in the bathroom or out in the parking lodge have always been her biggest fear.

And let’s be honest, 90% of these work-affairs are doomed to cause trouble. One party can feel mistreated by the other, one cannot keep a secret, different rules apply according to different situations but the definitions are hardly ever congruent between the parties involved. Hence, misunderstandings and trouble - big time.

After a couple of years in the business Mia met Mr. handsome at a private party. He was tall, funny and incredibly handsome. The two of them spend a wonderful evening together laughing, flirting and kissing in the end, of course; they even started dating for a little while. No wonder it came as quite a shock when Mr. handsome showed up in Mia’s office one day, but not to bring her flowers and chocolate. As it turned out he was the new head of Mia’s department.

What now? Somehow she was stuck in the middle of a situation she didn’t want to be in. She liked Mr. handsome and he wouldn’t stop flirting with her, not directly in the office, of course, but in emails, small little signs only the two of them would understand and when they ran into each other - alone. Nobody would notice. The looks he gave her were just one second too long, every ever so gentle touch was filled with some kind of affection and every word they exchanged she started analyzing for some double meaning. She knew, she shouldn’t do it, but she could not not do it. Left somewhere between harmless flirtation, a work-affair and something that might ultimately turn into something serious, Mia lost herself and Mr. handsome.

Eventually she had to make a choice to either let a man dominate her career or to live her life according to her own rules. She would never find out if Mr. handsome really could have pushed her career any further, but she can look herself in the mirror knowing that every step she takes and every progress she makes, she accomplished all on her own.

i always liked horses

2010-08-05T14:50:00.001+02:00

via

Von Prinzen und Prinzessinnen

2010-07-27T20:44:00.004+02:00

Jedes kleine Mädchen hat einen Traum – viele erzählen davon eine Tierärztin in der glühend heißen Wüste Afrikas zu sein und Tiger Babys zu retten, Koalabären in Australien mit einer Flasche aufzuziehen oder Pinguine in der Antarktis bei ihrem Tanz auf dem Eis zu beobachten. Andere beschreiben Schlösser und Feen, irgendwo in einer fernen Welt über den Wolken, hinter mächtigen Wasserfällen, in blühenden Wäldern, in denen die Feen mit ihren glitzernden Flügeln durch die Lüfte fliegen und dabei ihren Feenstaub verteilen, der allen Bewohnern ein Lächeln aufs Gesicht zaubert.

Der wichtigste und lebendigste Traum aller kleinen Mädchen ist aber der von ihrem Prinzen, der sie aus ihrem zu Hause, ihrer Welt rettet und erlöst, ihnen eine neue, bessere Welt zu Füßen zu legt und sie für immer glücklich machen wird.

Wir alle werden groß mit der Geschichte vom Prinzen, der auf dem weißen Schimmel angeritten kommt und den vielen Fröschen die man küssen muss, bis sich einer von ihnen irgendwann in den langersehnten Prinzen verwandelt. Nur leider lassen wir dabei vieles außer Acht, wie viele Frösche muss man überhaupt küssen bis einer davon zum Prinzen wird? Und wenn einer dieser Frösche endlich zum Prinzen geworden ist, legt er uns wirklich die Welt zu Füßen, hält zu uns in guten wie in schlechten Zeiten, bis das der Tod uns scheidet? Was passiert, wenn er sein Königreich bereits mit einer anderen Prinzessin teilt, mit uns aber gerne ein Ferien Königreich auf dem Land aufbauen möchte?

Wenn ich mich in meinem Freundeskreis umblicke hat jede von uns bereits ein Königreich gehabt, weit über den Wolken, dort wo die Luft klar und rein ist und die Sonne immer scheint. Viele, viele Jahre haben wir unser Königreich mehr oder minder mühselig mit viel Liebe und Geduld Stein für Stein aufgebaut. Mit der Zeit wurde es größer und schöner, einige bauten neue Blumenfelder und kleine Strohhütten andere wiederum legten einen Graben an, der Ihr Königreich schützen sollte. Doch egal was wir alle taten über kurz oder lang wurde jedes dieser Königreiche durch ein Gewitter zerstört. Teilweise waren es heftige Gewitter mit Hagelkörnern groß wie Tennisbälle, teilweise waren es einfach sinnflutartige Regenfälle, die über Monate hinweg unaufhörlich auf das Königreich niederprasselten, bis alle Bewohner langsam aber sicher ertrunken waren. Fast keines dieser Unwetter endete mit Sonnenschein oder gar einem Regenbogen und so gaben Prinz und Prinzessin ihr Königreich auf, um nicht mehr Schaden als notwendig zu verursachen.

Die Prinzen zogen fortan durch die Lande auf der Suche nach Abwechslung und Zerstreuung. Einige von ihnen fanden relativ schnell eine neue Prinzessin, andere zerstörten andere Königreiche für nichts und wieder nichts und wieder andere verführten eine Prinzessin nach der anderen ohne das sie auch nur einer davon ein neues Königreich versprachen.

Was zurückbleibt sind die Prinzessinnen mit ihren großen Träumen und Wünschen und der festen Überzeugung, dass es eines Tages einen Prinzen geben wird, der ihnen die Welt zu Füßen legt. Wo aber sind die Prinzen von heute?

simple is simple is simple is...

2010-07-25T11:14:00.002+02:00

picture via r.is your life

When a woman invites her friends for her birthday party, she wants everything to be perfect, the menu has to be extravagant, the table decoration unique, the location should be the newest in town and even a week in advance she can’t really sleep thinking and wishing for everyone to have a wonderful time.

When a man invites his friends for his birthday party, we can be lucky if he tells us about his idea a day in advance and his biggest concern really is to either find a half way decent girl that he can take home that night, it’s his birthday for crying out loud or to get everyone as drunk as possible, of course. Men are pretty simple like that. Simple is good some times, I guess, but how do we know if it really only is simple and when does it turn into indifference?

I have lived with my boyfriend for more than two years. We’ve shared our life and living space and for the most part it was a wonderful time. He was always so easy and relaxed about everything. No matter if I came home from work freaking out about my boss or co-workers, my best friend that had just cancelled our coffee date very last minute or any of the other smallest little things women generally like to turn into something so much bigger. He calmed me down every time, he always had a very simple explanation for everything that had happened, or so it seemed to me, had gone the wrong way. What a great quality you’ll think now, and yes, you are right, that really is a great quality, it seems like such a positive outlook on life, such a sunshine state of mind, easy living – don’t worry be happy. Sounds wonderful, doesn’t it? But once you get to think about it for a moment, is it really that or has it turned into indifference over time? Was I too much, all my worrying, all my concerns and questions, was he so tired from it that he just didn’t care anymore? Up until today I can only guess.

One of my very best friends Mia dated a guy once; everything seemed to be going wonderfully. To make it easier we’ll just call him the boy, anyways, the boy texted and called her every minute of the day, always wanting to meet and spend time with her. Mia, of course, had learned from past experience and wouldn’t fall for the boy in the beginning. As you are supposed to she waited a good amount of time to write him back, call or meet. She cancelled dates last minute, what naturally made the boy only wanting to see her more. He told her how much he’d admire her for what she was smart, funny, sexy, relaxed and how easy she dealt with the fact that he was in a serious relationship! What? Wait a second, slow down – serious relationship? Where the hell is that coming from? It came as a shock, the world stopped for a second and Mia had to sit down. Again – serious relationship – the word just kept repeating itself over an over in her head. How can he not have mentioned it so far, they had been dating for the last month and nothing, nothing, nothing not one sign of a girlfriend, no mentioning, no not picking up the phone, no suspicious moments in public. How could he not let her know such an important fact, how could she have not noticed? As it turned out the girlfriend wasn’t living in the city, but in the far away countryside and apparently she didn’t mind the boy to have one or the other affair. The boy seemed to have a very simple outlook on his relationship - the girlfriend was cute and nice of course and he didn’t need to be alone that way. Other than that he didn’t really care, did he?!

Mia broke everything of right then and there. She was not the other woman and never will be. But one question remained how could someone be so indifferent about such a sensitive topic as love. For the boy it could have been any other girl, he didn’t care.

Not for us though, we don’t want simple, we want someone who cares, complicated and complex, honest and straightforward, someone who has not lost their positive outlook on life.

yesterday

2010-07-23T12:15:00.001+02:00

Fire up your engines, Aries. The Sun enters your house of passion and productivity for a month, putting you back in the driver’s seat of your own life. Moodiness evaporates and optimism is restored. Keep those rose-colored glasses perched on your nose. The more you focus on the positive, the more that energy expands. You may soon be tapped for a VIP opportunity. Practice your on-camera smile!

Can't hardly wait...let's get it on!!

Good things come to those who wait

2010-07-22T22:17:00.001+02:00

bild via r. is your life

A couple of singles

2010-07-20T23:43:00.000+02:00

A lot of change happens during our lifetime. We change our clothes everyday, we change our lifestyle and our expectations towards life, we definitely change our boyfriends a few times while we grow older and most of us not only redecorate but also completely move their living spaces to different areas, cities or even countries. But what happens to our living situation once we hit a certain age? Are we required to buy an apartment, move in with our boyfriend and start a family?

For many years I have lived in the city. I shared a flat with my boyfriend and we had the happiest time. I loved waking up next to him in the morning, making coffee while he was still asleep or to lazy to get out of bed, having breakfast together, reading the newspaper side by side, he told me about the business section and what was going on the world of finance and I picked the newest theatre play or the latest exhibition we should see, from the arts section, of course. Just like the wise saying it was the best of time it was the worst of time our relationship and living situation was doomed to end and when it did it really was the worst of time. A break up is one of the most devastating and saddening things that can happen in life, we all know that, but when you have already lived together and shared a life it is even worse. Who gets to keep the place, the furniture, the dishes, the new espresso machine, the designer couch or the bed you have shared your life, your hopes and dreams and your most intimate moments in for the last four years? And what happens to you when you move out, do you get your own place, will you move in with friends or find a shared flat? So many decisions have to be made, so much change to accept. I for my part decided to not keep anything; I couldn’t bear the thought of keeping the bed, the couch or any of the stuff that we had used together for such a long time. It was our place, not anymore and I didn’t want anything to remind me of that.

Unlike so many others I not only vacated from our flat, I also vacated from our city. Some friends of mine shared a flat in the far away countryside, which seemed like the perfect place to stay at for a while. What I didn’t think about at that time was that coming from a circle of friends where everyone was single handling his or her own life without relying on another person, moving in with 3 people all of whom are in serious relationships is quite a change. Especially once they start talking about moving in with each other, leaving you to the fact that you have just moved out with your now to be called ex-boyfriend. Once you have hit a certain age it seems that is exactly what you need to do, you have a boyfriend, move in, buy a flat, get engaged, get married and have kids. That is of course a wonderful lifestyle, don’t get me wrong, but what if you have just gotten out of all that, do you really want to go back there?

I didn’t want to go back to all that seriousness, I was just starting to feel myself again, go out and have fun. It was much harder in the countryside then in the city and I really had to learn it the hard way. I didn’t really have a choice, though; all my single friends lived in the city, so I was left to me and dealing with myself. It was sad and pretty tough at times, but it made it so much easier in the end. Most of my coupled friends seem to live a happy life, but so do most of my single friends. And for the moment I am pretty damn happy to be one of them, to have the choice if I want to live in a shared flat, or by myself, if I want to spend all my money on clothes and travelling, if I don’t want to do the dishes for an entire week, if I want to have crazy parties at my house, if I want to kiss with two boys on the same night, if I only want to eat apples and tangerines for a week, if I want to fight or not, to smile or not, to be happy or not. For the most part I am.

wait for more

2010-07-13T17:50:00.001+02:00

Some people just get under your skin and stay there. Or that is at least what I keep telling myself, mainly because of this one guy that I cant seem to let go off.

The night we met the connection was instant. He was the only one I saw, smiled at and talked to the entire night. I don’t even remember any of the other people.After the dinner we found of course some excuse to still hang out with each other and left for a bar near by the restaurant. It didn’t even take 10 minutes until I found myself in his strong arms kissing like crazy.

He kept calling for the next few weeks. We’ve spent hours on the phone talking about everything. It was so easy, so natural, he’d made me laugh, he’d calm me down, he’d always knew the right thing to say and he’d always find the right time to call. We’d spend a weekend in the far, far away countryside, just him and me. Two days, four walls, one bed. Nothing really happened though, we continued talking and kissing of course. It felt good, after all this time - if falling in love was really that easy and uncomplicated, I thought, I would do it.

It was not that easy! A couple of days later I had to learn that my newfound prince had a girlfriend. Did he really? How can that be? Why didn’t he tell me? Does he really love her? Should I really think that right now? Shouldn’t I feel horrible to be the other women? The other women I never wanted to be! What do I do? And the worst of all why do I still like him?

He didn’t even try to find excuse, he admitted everything right away but it wouldn’t ease the pain, not this time. I had sticked to the rules, I was smart, witty, funny, incredibly sexy (in the right moments of course) not always available, no pressure nothing.

Everything fell apart within days he would’t call or email anymore, no text message, no good night kiss over the phone, no wake up call nothing. All that was left was this big hole of nothingness.

Week’s even month passed by until I should her from him again. It was a Monday 16:23 in the afternoon. I was in the office as usual working, trying to concentrate, distract myself with work. And then all of a sudden my phone rang I didn’t know the number, so I contemplated for a bit if I should really answer it. But as usual I lost that fight. It was him, I was shocked. I couldn’t talk, I didn’t have to. He was in the city and wanted to see me! Should I do that? He lied to me! He has a girlfriend! Does he still? I am not the other women!

I couldn’t say “No” of course. He was still under my skin, nothing helped he wouldn’t go away, wash off, get out of my life. So, we met for dinner, same place different time. It was exactly like the first time. Before I left my apartment that evening I promised myself to stay away from that guy, to not get dragged into this story again, simply to not liking him. But I couldn’t. As soon as he stepped into the door it was a complete flash back, it was only he and I the entire time, I don’t even remember the other people. After the dinner we found of course some excuse to still hang out with each other and left for a bar near by the restaurant. It didn’t even take 10 minutes until I found myself in his strong arms kissing like crazy.

Some people just get under your skin and stay there, or do I fall in love to easily?

never ending story

2010-07-13T11:04:00.001+02:00

via le love.

down under

2010-07-06T21:27:00.000+02:00

She arrived down under a day later than expected. The airline had some troubles on the way and so she got stuck in almost every airport she could imagine. Spending a night at a crappy airport hotel in London, being delayed in Hong Kong and spending another night at a Sydney airport hotel, before she finally arrived in Melbourne. Stepping out of the airport a warm, humid air came across her easing her body from the immense travel troubles she’s been having for the last two days. But where would she go? She had no idea about Australia or Melbourne for that matter. The only thing she knew was that she had always wanted to go there, it had been a feeling more than anything else.

And then finally a week ago, she was wondering around the city, looking at pretty shop windows counting the little money she had left to decide in the end that she would not buy anything, she somehow ended up at the airport. Without thinking twice about it she bought a ticket to Melbourne – and here she was.

him and her

2010-07-05T10:08:00.000+02:00

He makes her shiver, makes her heart beat faster and eases her at the same time with his sweet words. Those sweet words that he speaks in his deep dark voice, warm, comforting, respectful. Her phone rings she sees his name her heart jumps her mind is calm. A weird connection, one she has never experienced in her life so far. She always knows what to do and how to do it. She doesn’t want advice she doesn’t want people telling her what to do or where to go. He is an exception, though, he gives advice he means well he supports her. He makes her feel strong and independent, he makes her feel she is doing the right thing, going the right way.

She hates when people call her - baby - she loves when he calls her – baby -. She can go for weeks without him, without knowing where he is or what he does, without talking to him or thinking of him and then all of a sudden there he is again, her phone rings, her heart jumps her mind is calm. How does he always figure out the right moment to call? How does he calm her down from far, so very far sometimes?

He is definitely an idiot one she shouldn’t trust, one who is not reliable and one who might just leave and never call you again. She doesn’t want to have a relationship with him, ever, he will betray her, with her best friend, the secretary, the nurse or kinder garden teacher. Yet, he is in her life somehow and she doesn’t want him to leave, to go away. He just makes her feel so good about herself, an independent women in this world, working, working hard in this male dominated environment and still finding her way, being successful, enjoying life in all its beauty. Where is he in this picture and how did he get there. He makes her shiver when he kisses her good-bye.

Umram das Bild in dem ich tauch

2010-07-02T00:11:00.001+02:00

mach mir Luft und Atme auf und nehm den Sonnenaufgang mit.

you are going to be my sun

2010-07-01T13:00:00.001+02:00

and the future will be bright

- for both of us.

cigarettes

2010-06-30T16:15:00.004+02:00

she told be she would go to get some cigarettes. i never saw her again.

i remember she always wanted to live in australia. down under seemed like a place of love and peace to her. maybe a house close to the ocean with wild flowers and even wilder animals in the backyard. sunshine everyday, the possibility to go swimming or surfing, hang out and relax all day.

she hated to work, had never liked it and had never found something to truly fulfill her. what she liked was being nice to people, helping an old lady cary her groceries, playing hide and seek with the kids and making the most amazing dinner parties ever.

she would invite all her friends, decorate the house and cook the tastiest meals you can imagine. she didn't even need a recipe. the world was her inspiration and the kitchen her natural habitat, everything was possible, sweet cakes and desert, fresh bread, meat, vegetables everything handmade.

during summer time she would serve homemade lemonade cold and sour with lots and lots of ice cubes, while her friend would mingle in the garden.

everyone was having the greatest time until now that she is gone. who is going to cook for us, throw us a party, make us feel good and forget about work?

maybe we should stop working too, and try finding her somewhere in this world.

the concept of time

2010-06-28T22:41:00.002+02:00

when you are a couple you seem to have all the time in the world. time to spend with each other, time to go out to dinner, time to travel, go on vacation, time to talk about the future, sometimes even to meet your other couple friends.

but what happens to your concept of time when you are single?

all of a sudden everything is different and for some strange reason you seem to have no time at all anymore. you are constantly in a hurry going to work, meeting your friends, going to the newest exhibition or shop-opening and if you are lucky going from one date to another.

no matter what your concept of time completely changes. it might even leave you totally out of breath while you are running from one place to another trying to manage all those crazy obligations. and all the time feeling the pressure and thinking about all the potential partners you might meet at one of these events.

this is all fine and good of course from the outside this might even look like fun. most of your couple friends are probably even jealous about your busy schedule and all the exciting things you experience everyday. when my couple friends invite me some how I always end up entertaining them with the newest events regarding either my love life, the latest party fiasco or my job. it feels like my life is so much more exciting but all I want is to be a couple and have all the time in the world.

live & learn

2010-06-24T19:35:00.004+02:00

- i have learned it the hard way - is what my grandma used to say to me when i was little. and she sure did. she had 4 kids 3 girls, 1 boy. 3 of them, the 3 girls to be exact, she almost raised all by herself. after world war II my grandpa was kept imprisoned somewhere in the UK, he never really spoke about it, so we still don t know about it. this left my grandma alone with 3 young kids, the need for water, food, money and a lot of responsibility. the years went by they lived their life, she raised them, played with them, fed them, and all this time she never knew if my grandpa would ever come back, if he was even still alive. she never stopped, though, she always kept going until one day he was finally home again.

i can say that my grandparents, apart from the above mentioned, lived a very happy life. they had a big house, with an ever bigger garden, they planted fruits and vegetables, their kids gave them lots of grandkids and those grandkids gave them lots of love and happiness.

and one day those grandkids will have their own children. maybe 2 boys and 1 girl, maybe just a boy, maybe 4 girls we don t know yet. and those children will have children and so on and so on and so on.

and there will be one thing they will all have in common, no matter if they have learned it the hard way or not, they will all have a very happy life.

you

2010-06-24T16:30:00.004+02:00

i saw you smile today...

dreams...

2010-06-24T15:41:00.002+02:00

... might kill you

shortcomings

2010-06-23T18:19:00.004+02:00

she was lucky, very lucky. she had friends, a job, a roof above her had. she was pretty, too, not exceptionally pretty but pretty enough for people to turn their heads when they saw her on the street.

her friends would call her ruby, because of her shiny long healthy hair. at work she was mrs perfect, because she would do everything on time, in the correct order and format and would never miss or forget anything she was supposed to be doing. she even did everything always, always, always just a couple of minutes before she had to, what made her look even more perfect.

her parents were very proud of her, she had moved away from the country, made it in the big city, with, what seemed to them a big job, a nice apartment and lots of friends. she would send a letter to her parents every week, telling them about her days, her job and any other news she wanted them to know. twice a year she would take on the long journey back to the country to visit her family. she would help her mom clean the house, go food shopping and mowing the lawn with her dad and play with her sisters kids in the garden.

but no one

no one would send her, her favorite flowers

ever...

heart attack

2010-06-22T19:45:00.003+02:00

it happened today, totally unexpected or out of the blue as one would say.

as usual lina got to work at nine in the morning. she always gets there at nine and she always leaves at six. only very rarely when there is really lots of work to do lina stays longer, of course. but there almost never is, so she comes at nine and leaves at six. by now her boss should know that, since she works for the same boss for quite a while already. how long again? well, at least one year and a couple of month.

lina works in a big house, you could almost call it a town house. very high ceilings, big windows, beautiful garden, everything is very nice, neat, light, clean she always feels like she is not allowed to touch anything or talk to anyone, because who knows what you could break or do wrong once you open your mouth or move. anyhow, when it happened lina sat infront of her computer working away. she heard a weird and unexpected noise, foot steps at first and then some keys, the door closed, keys in the look turned around

- oh no - lina thought - what is going on, is it six already? - but it wasn't not even close. it was 15:41 and she still had a couple of hours to go until she could leave for the day.

- damn it, what is my boss thinking - she got up from her desk and than it happened, the loudest, shrilling noise you can imagine. a tone so freakishly loud it not only makes your heart stop it scares you to death (well almost).

lina felt like she couldn't breath anymore it was the same feeling she had had that day when she ran into her ex-boyfriend that she had been with for many many years. had lived with him, had shared everything the apartment, money, friends even a dog (which after the break up she gave away to some friends parents. she just couldn't bare the thought of living with that dog after everything that had happened). and then one day she runs into him with the new girl, much younger then lina, long, shiny hair, skinny legs, even skinnier arms, sweet face but not model like, but ok,

but, oh my good it made her heart stop, she couldn't breath it was so unexpected, she didn't know what to do, to say, how to behave, where to turn, or just run.

so, once she had taken a deep breath she did exactly what she did back then. lina ran to the door and just smashed the alarm system, just like she had smashed her ex-boyfriends face the day she saw him with the new girl.

of course her boss couldn't know that, but seriously what the hell was he thinking to lock her in at 15:41. if he was so scared she could leave one day to find a better job, he shouldn't have started something with another girl in the first place.

i heard the bird

2010-06-21T17:12:00.004+02:00

i moved to munich about a year ago and one of the many arguments from people who tried to convince me that this was the right choice was actually the great summer munich is supposed to have every year.

sunshine, 30° everyday and night, beautiful/refreshing lakes and not to forget the beloved biergarten trips.

here you enjoy the nice weather in very rustic locations while eating fatty food and drinking, yeah right beer!

so i wonder what happened to all of this?summer is not even close to arrive.

so far i have spend one day on a beautiful/refreshing lake and one time in a biergarten eating ketchup with french fries and slurping on my beer,which i really only do in a biergarten or at oktoberfest, because i can stand the taste of it but people down here wont care and keep forcing you to like it.

back to the missing summer - how much longer can we take this?

even the birds start to freak out one just wouldn t stopp gaggling outside my office window for what felt like an hour. once he calmed down it looked like he had made his decision, put on his sun glasses and just waved good bye on his way south.

but what the hell are we supposed to do?

i think i might go home now, find my wings and fly out visit my little birdie friend in the caribbean...

must have of my week

2010-06-21T14:11:00.005+02:00

the ysl arty oval ring

it might be old

it might be used

but it is still shiny and gold

and pretty

at least for me...

will you be mine?

estas tatuado en mi corazon

2010-06-21T10:02:00.000+02:00

- toda mi vida -

it

2010-06-19T13:32:00.001+02:00

comes and goes

in waves

this is athens

2010-06-15T20:00:00.003+02:00

by dimitri taxis

via wooster collective

some some some

2010-06-15T19:49:00.001+02:00

sometimes the weirdest things happen

she wants to know if i love her...

2010-06-15T17:19:00.000+02:00

2010-06-15T12:21:00.002+02:00

ROA x Brooklyn

2010-06-09T12:00:00.002+02:00

i am just loving his work

how would you feel

if you d meet a squirrel in the middle of brooklyn?

a while

2010-06-09T11:09:00.002+02:00

---

2010-06-07T17:19:00.002+02:00

The cure for anything is salt water.
Sweat, tears, or the sea.
- Isak Dinesen -

better and better

2010-06-04T14:22:00.002+02:00

fail

fail again

fail better

by samuel beckett

happy

2010-06-03T15:38:00.002+02:00

finally

2010-06-03T10:45:00.000+02:00

the sun came out and kissed my heart.

a little friend called hope

2010-05-28T21:17:00.003+02:00

via etsy

falling in love so wonderful

2010-05-28T21:14:00.002+02:00

everything flows

2010-05-27T10:22:00.003+02:00

it s just one of these days

no matter what is going on in your life

no matter how upset

devastated

disenchanted

you are

the world seems to go in the wrong direction

nothing makes sense anymore

and you don t know how you should continue

and then

all of a sudden

something small happens

only if it s just a friendly smile

kind words

everything flows

and you know it ll all make sense

maybe not now

but soon

one step ahead

2010-05-26T15:53:00.000+02:00

in the morning

2010-05-25T22:57:00.002+02:00

3 things to fight for

2010-05-25T22:25:00.001+02:00

your opinion to be heard

your right to party

the girl you love

some people just break your heart

2010-05-25T18:51:00.001+02:00

i hate the sound of that

but i keep hearing it over

and over

again

2010-05-25T16:48:00.004+02:00

Everything is Borrowed (The Streets)

fear of failure always creates mediocrity

2010-05-24T02:09:00.001+02:00

be fearless...

moody

2010-05-19T12:21:00.002+02:00

that would be so so nice

2010-05-18T16:50:00.001+02:00

give yourself permission to take frequent breaks throughout the day

they don’t have to last for longer than ten or fifteen minutes

just a pause to collect your thoughts

and connect with the people around you

later in the day

smile at handsome strangers and keep your aura open and welcoming

a romantic interlude is written in the stars

although it’s bound to happen when you least expect it

banksy X nyc

2010-05-17T21:16:00.001+02:00

he just arrived

found on cedar street

between greenwich und trinty

love love love

2010-05-17T19:39:00.000+02:00

i need love

chanel cruise collection

2010-05-16T22:26:00.001+02:00

first thing in the morning

2010-05-16T22:08:00.000+02:00

no no no

2010-05-11T11:51:00.000+02:00

alright then

2010-05-10T22:23:00.002+02:00

that much

2010-05-10T22:18:00.002+02:00

if i had a nickel

i know what i would do

i d spend it all for candy

and give it all to you

cause thats how much i love you

baby

mondays horoscope

2010-05-10T18:20:00.001+02:00

hang in there with that pitbull like determination

if you believe in something

you shouldn’t budge

nope

not even an inch

your conviction might confound

or frustrate people

who don’t see the grand vision yet

in the end

they’ll have to respect you for taking a clear stand

and pushing the envelope like this

walls

2010-05-10T15:52:00.001+02:00

hmm

don't know about this

in a perfect world

2010-05-10T15:38:00.004+02:00

catrina dulay

graphic design student from california

defined her perfect world

in a simple graphic way

isn't she right about it

who would want any of this to happen

if my world only was perfect too

don't forget that...

2010-05-10T11:36:00.001+02:00

failure is unimportant.

it takes courage to make a fool of yourself.

- charlie chaplin -

gone with the wind

2010-05-10T08:46:00.002+02:00

not that i will every understand how it works

he seems to be gone again

gone without saying

or doing anything

but why

did i do something

say something

miss something

is this every going to stop

soulmate #02

2010-05-06T17:44:00.000+02:00

chanel

2010-05-06T16:05:00.002+02:00

do i really need to say

anything more

every painting in the MoMa on 10 April 2010

2010-05-05T18:35:00.002+02:00

up in the air

2010-05-05T17:39:00.002+02:00

love'm

2010-05-05T17:35:00.002+02:00

espresso chocolate tarte for lunch

2010-05-05T17:13:00.003+02:00

banana muffins

hot belgium chocolate

makes me weak

cant stop it

cant help it

it makes me happy

makes me smile

soulmates

2010-05-03T16:44:00.000+02:00

being patient

2010-05-03T10:50:00.001+02:00

via Garance Doré

too late

2010-05-01T23:56:00.003+02:00

i konw i am too late

but still

i rode my bike that day

through rosenthaler platz

and became part of this piece of art

too

i loved it

who ever came up with this idea

genious

really fast

2010-05-01T20:28:00.002+02:00

appearances are deceptive

2010-04-30T12:32:00.001+02:00

being forgotten

2010-04-28T12:43:00.003+02:00

anyhow everyone deserves to be happy...

life is good again

2010-04-28T12:01:00.004+02:00

thank you

for always keeping me company

giving me patience

hope

happiness

love

support in every way

my beloved circle of friends

and all the energy in the world

i may need to reach my goals

miaaaaoooo

2010-04-26T16:47:00.001+02:00

zara #02

clearly a copy!!

but hey: who can affort a genuine miu miu dress?

hmmm?

jump jump

2010-04-26T14:57:00.001+02:00

fresh out of the zara look book for may

this is pure

love

and

desire

i die

for both

the jumpsuit

and the glasses

damn

were did all the money go

Oh lá lá...

2010-04-26T14:30:00.001+02:00

valentino's lemon silk organza dress - like a sweet dessert...

everything flows

2010-04-26T11:17:00.003+02:00

rarely

you have these moments

where everything

just flows

everything seems to go exactly like you wish

everything flows

appreciate these times

don t take them for granted

and never forget to be

grateful

for everything you have

everything life gave you

it s beautiful

the one and only

2010-04-23T16:17:00.000+02:00

can we change the date

2010-04-22T16:06:00.001+02:00

daily horoscope

you re feeling aggravated about a romantic issue

so take the bull by the horns

a conversation is warranted with the person who s gotten under your skin

this could be your lover

or a busybody

who seems to keep inserting herself in the middle of the two of you

single?

dress in your most prowl-worthy outfit

and make a move on your target

can i have this for saturday instead

no way

2010-04-22T09:39:00.002+02:00

not!

by an unkown british artist

someone make him happy

please

art cologne

2010-04-20T16:10:00.002+02:00

art cologne

from 21. to 25. of april

go if you can

i wish

i could

denham trench

2010-04-20T16:07:00.003+02:00

oh my god

i just found my

denham trench

at the new denham the jeanmaker online shop

i have been in love

big love

with this trench for over a year

it is so adorable

and made with so much love and details

that for me

it seriously

is to die for

sorry

i am dying...

weekly horoscope

2010-04-19T17:02:00.001+02:00

stubbornness begets stubbornness, aries, and there’s a lot of bullheaded energy flying around this week. you’ve been known to give people the iciest of silent treatments, but that doesn’t seem to eradicate them from your psyche. quite the contrary, it seems to inflame their presence in your thoughts and conversations with other people. this week, consider the radical notion that you could extend an olive branch. yes, it’s not your fault this happened, you didn’t start it, yadda yadda. extend the olive branch anyway. someone’s gotta be the bigger person here. while you might not get an immediate response, if you tap into the love that’s still living underneath the pain of this conflict, you’ll know just what to write in a letter or say in a voicemail message. ultimately, this sets you free, and just in time, as you’re ready to begin exploring an exciting new challenge at work!

new week here i come

salone di mobile 2010

2010-04-19T16:38:00.001+02:00

so in love with missoni home and moroso!

blocked

2010-04-19T10:24:00.001+02:00

please let it stop soon...

YES

2010-04-14T15:17:00.001+02:00

indeed!!!

fashion against aids

2010-04-14T13:56:00.002+02:00

look what i just found

pictures from the new

h&m fashion against aids festival collection

will be in stores may 20th

and

those pants are my newest

must must must must have

can t wait

clever

2010-04-14T11:29:00.001+02:00

naaa

not really

fun

definitely yes

do it agin

let s see

yes or no...

2010-04-13T14:41:00.001+02:00

i dont know

good or bad

i dont know

right or wrong

no idea

do or dont

want to

2010-04-13T11:11:00.001+02:00

i never wanted to

but i just have to post this

garance and scott

what a lovely picture

as far as i am concerned

they can do as many tv shows

as they want

i d love that

what can i say

i am a sucker for love

the owl

2010-04-12T18:16:00.002+02:00

just found this owl

by dave barnes

love the

very unique

and colorful way of his work

with a modern approach

his pieces have a special nostalgic charm

definite must have for me

lovely scented air

2010-04-12T11:36:00.001+02:00

it might be old

it might be hard to get

and it might not be mine

yet

christian dior bois d'argent

is my personal new favorite

it smells like everything you want

everything you love

everything you have ever dreamed of

french fries

2010-04-09T11:35:00.001+02:00

remember when we were kids!

when going on play dates, climbing trees and eating ice cream were the greatest things in the world. all these tiny little things, like a new marble we got from our friend, seeing the first ladybug in spring, french fries with ketchup… would make our world shiny and bright.

remember when growing up!

when little things turn into big things. when obsessing about little things sometimes becomes our daily routine. when we forget about the first ladybug in spring, but french fries with ketchup still make our world shiny and bright.

les chaussures....

2010-04-09T10:19:00.001+02:00

love

2010-04-08T18:17:00.001+02:00

there is a limit to your love

like a waterfall in slow motion

beautiful spring

2010-04-08T11:13:00.002+02:00

captured by SEA OF SHOES.