7/20/10

A couple of singles

A lot of change happens during our lifetime. We change our clothes everyday, we change our lifestyle and our expectations towards life, we definitely change our boyfriends a few times while we grow older and most of us not only redecorate but also completely move their living spaces to different areas, cities or even countries. But what happens to our living situation once we hit a certain age? Are we required to buy an apartment, move in with our boyfriend and start a family?

For many years I have lived in the city. I shared a flat with my boyfriend and we had the happiest time. I loved waking up next to him in the morning, making coffee while he was still asleep or to lazy to get out of bed, having breakfast together, reading the newspaper side by side, he told me about the business section and what was going on the world of finance and I picked the newest theatre play or the latest exhibition we should see, from the arts section, of course. Just like the wise saying it was the best of time it was the worst of time our relationship and living situation was doomed to end and when it did it really was the worst of time. A break up is one of the most devastating and saddening things that can happen in life, we all know that, but when you have already lived together and shared a life it is even worse. Who gets to keep the place, the furniture, the dishes, the new espresso machine, the designer couch or the bed you have shared your life, your hopes and dreams and your most intimate moments in for the last four years? And what happens to you when you move out, do you get your own place, will you move in with friends or find a shared flat? So many decisions have to be made, so much change to accept. I for my part decided to not keep anything; I couldn’t bear the thought of keeping the bed, the couch or any of the stuff that we had used together for such a long time. It was our place, not anymore and I didn’t want anything to remind me of that.

Unlike so many others I not only vacated from our flat, I also vacated from our city. Some friends of mine shared a flat in the far away countryside, which seemed like the perfect place to stay at for a while. What I didn’t think about at that time was that coming from a circle of friends where everyone was single handling his or her own life without relying on another person, moving in with 3 people all of whom are in serious relationships is quite a change. Especially once they start talking about moving in with each other, leaving you to the fact that you have just moved out with your now to be called ex-boyfriend. Once you have hit a certain age it seems that is exactly what you need to do, you have a boyfriend, move in, buy a flat, get engaged, get married and have kids. That is of course a wonderful lifestyle, don’t get me wrong, but what if you have just gotten out of all that, do you really want to go back there?

I didn’t want to go back to all that seriousness, I was just starting to feel myself again, go out and have fun. It was much harder in the countryside then in the city and I really had to learn it the hard way. I didn’t really have a choice, though; all my single friends lived in the city, so I was left to me and dealing with myself. It was sad and pretty tough at times, but it made it so much easier in the end. Most of my coupled friends seem to live a happy life, but so do most of my single friends. And for the moment I am pretty damn happy to be one of them, to have the choice if I want to live in a shared flat, or by myself, if I want to spend all my money on clothes and travelling, if I don’t want to do the dishes for an entire week, if I want to have crazy parties at my house, if I want to kiss with two boys on the same night, if I only want to eat apples and tangerines for a week, if I want to fight or not, to smile or not, to be happy or not. For the most part I am.

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