7/27/10

Von Prinzen und Prinzessinnen


Jedes kleine Mädchen hat einen Traum – viele erzählen davon eine Tierärztin in der glühend heißen Wüste Afrikas zu sein und Tiger Babys zu retten, Koalabären in Australien mit einer Flasche aufzuziehen oder Pinguine in der Antarktis bei ihrem Tanz auf dem Eis zu beobachten. Andere beschreiben Schlösser und Feen, irgendwo in einer fernen Welt über den Wolken, hinter mächtigen Wasserfällen, in blühenden Wäldern, in denen die Feen mit ihren glitzernden Flügeln durch die Lüfte fliegen und dabei ihren Feenstaub verteilen, der allen Bewohnern ein Lächeln aufs Gesicht zaubert.

Der wichtigste und lebendigste Traum aller kleinen Mädchen ist aber der von ihrem Prinzen, der sie aus ihrem zu Hause, ihrer Welt rettet und erlöst, ihnen eine neue, bessere Welt zu Füßen zu legt und sie für immer glücklich machen wird.

Wir alle werden groß mit der Geschichte vom Prinzen, der auf dem weißen Schimmel angeritten kommt und den vielen Fröschen die man küssen muss, bis sich einer von ihnen irgendwann in den langersehnten Prinzen verwandelt. Nur leider lassen wir dabei vieles außer Acht, wie viele Frösche muss man überhaupt küssen bis einer davon zum Prinzen wird? Und wenn einer dieser Frösche endlich zum Prinzen geworden ist, legt er uns wirklich die Welt zu Füßen, hält zu uns in guten wie in schlechten Zeiten, bis das der Tod uns scheidet? Was passiert, wenn er sein Königreich bereits mit einer anderen Prinzessin teilt, mit uns aber gerne ein Ferien Königreich auf dem Land aufbauen möchte?

Wenn ich mich in meinem Freundeskreis umblicke hat jede von uns bereits ein Königreich gehabt, weit über den Wolken, dort wo die Luft klar und rein ist und die Sonne immer scheint. Viele, viele Jahre haben wir unser Königreich mehr oder minder mühselig mit viel Liebe und Geduld Stein für Stein aufgebaut. Mit der Zeit wurde es größer und schöner, einige bauten neue Blumenfelder und kleine Strohhütten andere wiederum legten einen Graben an, der Ihr Königreich schützen sollte. Doch egal was wir alle taten über kurz oder lang wurde jedes dieser Königreiche durch ein Gewitter zerstört. Teilweise waren es heftige Gewitter mit Hagelkörnern groß wie Tennisbälle, teilweise waren es einfach sinnflutartige Regenfälle, die über Monate hinweg unaufhörlich auf das Königreich niederprasselten, bis alle Bewohner langsam aber sicher ertrunken waren. Fast keines dieser Unwetter endete mit Sonnenschein oder gar einem Regenbogen und so gaben Prinz und Prinzessin ihr Königreich auf, um nicht mehr Schaden als notwendig zu verursachen.

Die Prinzen zogen fortan durch die Lande auf der Suche nach Abwechslung und Zerstreuung. Einige von ihnen fanden relativ schnell eine neue Prinzessin, andere zerstörten andere Königreiche für nichts und wieder nichts und wieder andere verführten eine Prinzessin nach der anderen ohne das sie auch nur einer davon ein neues Königreich versprachen.

Was zurückbleibt sind die Prinzessinnen mit ihren großen Träumen und Wünschen und der festen Überzeugung, dass es eines Tages einen Prinzen geben wird, der ihnen die Welt zu Füßen legt. Wo aber sind die Prinzen von heute?

7/25/10

simple is simple is simple is...


picture via r.is your life


When a woman invites her friends for her birthday party, she wants everything to be perfect, the menu has to be extravagant, the table decoration unique, the location should be the newest in town and even a week in advance she can’t really sleep thinking and wishing for everyone to have a wonderful time.

When a man invites his friends for his birthday party, we can be lucky if he tells us about his idea a day in advance and his biggest concern really is to either find a half way decent girl that he can take home that night, it’s his birthday for crying out loud or to get everyone as drunk as possible, of course. Men are pretty simple like that. Simple is good some times, I guess, but how do we know if it really only is simple and when does it turn into indifference?

I have lived with my boyfriend for more than two years. We’ve shared our life and living space and for the most part it was a wonderful time. He was always so easy and relaxed about everything. No matter if I came home from work freaking out about my boss or co-workers, my best friend that had just cancelled our coffee date very last minute or any of the other smallest little things women generally like to turn into something so much bigger. He calmed me down every time, he always had a very simple explanation for everything that had happened, or so it seemed to me, had gone the wrong way. What a great quality you’ll think now, and yes, you are right, that really is a great quality, it seems like such a positive outlook on life, such a sunshine state of mind, easy living – don’t worry be happy. Sounds wonderful, doesn’t it? But once you get to think about it for a moment, is it really that or has it turned into indifference over time? Was I too much, all my worrying, all my concerns and questions, was he so tired from it that he just didn’t care anymore? Up until today I can only guess.

One of my very best friends Mia dated a guy once; everything seemed to be going wonderfully. To make it easier we’ll just call him the boy, anyways, the boy texted and called her every minute of the day, always wanting to meet and spend time with her. Mia, of course, had learned from past experience and wouldn’t fall for the boy in the beginning. As you are supposed to she waited a good amount of time to write him back, call or meet. She cancelled dates last minute, what naturally made the boy only wanting to see her more. He told her how much he’d admire her for what she was smart, funny, sexy, relaxed and how easy she dealt with the fact that he was in a serious relationship! What? Wait a second, slow down – serious relationship? Where the hell is that coming from? It came as a shock, the world stopped for a second and Mia had to sit down. Again – serious relationship – the word just kept repeating itself over an over in her head. How can he not have mentioned it so far, they had been dating for the last month and nothing, nothing, nothing not one sign of a girlfriend, no mentioning, no not picking up the phone, no suspicious moments in public. How could he not let her know such an important fact, how could she have not noticed? As it turned out the girlfriend wasn’t living in the city, but in the far away countryside and apparently she didn’t mind the boy to have one or the other affair. The boy seemed to have a very simple outlook on his relationship - the girlfriend was cute and nice of course and he didn’t need to be alone that way. Other than that he didn’t really care, did he?!

Mia broke everything of right then and there. She was not the other woman and never will be. But one question remained how could someone be so indifferent about such a sensitive topic as love. For the boy it could have been any other girl, he didn’t care.

Not for us though, we don’t want simple, we want someone who cares, complicated and complex, honest and straightforward, someone who has not lost their positive outlook on life.

7/23/10

yesterday

Fire up your engines, Aries. The Sun enters your house of passion and productivity for a month, putting you back in the driver’s seat of your own life. Moodiness evaporates and optimism is restored. Keep those rose-colored glasses perched on your nose. The more you focus on the positive, the more that energy expands. You may soon be tapped for a VIP opportunity. Practice your on-camera smile!

Can't hardly wait...let's get it on!!

7/20/10

A couple of singles

A lot of change happens during our lifetime. We change our clothes everyday, we change our lifestyle and our expectations towards life, we definitely change our boyfriends a few times while we grow older and most of us not only redecorate but also completely move their living spaces to different areas, cities or even countries. But what happens to our living situation once we hit a certain age? Are we required to buy an apartment, move in with our boyfriend and start a family?

For many years I have lived in the city. I shared a flat with my boyfriend and we had the happiest time. I loved waking up next to him in the morning, making coffee while he was still asleep or to lazy to get out of bed, having breakfast together, reading the newspaper side by side, he told me about the business section and what was going on the world of finance and I picked the newest theatre play or the latest exhibition we should see, from the arts section, of course. Just like the wise saying it was the best of time it was the worst of time our relationship and living situation was doomed to end and when it did it really was the worst of time. A break up is one of the most devastating and saddening things that can happen in life, we all know that, but when you have already lived together and shared a life it is even worse. Who gets to keep the place, the furniture, the dishes, the new espresso machine, the designer couch or the bed you have shared your life, your hopes and dreams and your most intimate moments in for the last four years? And what happens to you when you move out, do you get your own place, will you move in with friends or find a shared flat? So many decisions have to be made, so much change to accept. I for my part decided to not keep anything; I couldn’t bear the thought of keeping the bed, the couch or any of the stuff that we had used together for such a long time. It was our place, not anymore and I didn’t want anything to remind me of that.

Unlike so many others I not only vacated from our flat, I also vacated from our city. Some friends of mine shared a flat in the far away countryside, which seemed like the perfect place to stay at for a while. What I didn’t think about at that time was that coming from a circle of friends where everyone was single handling his or her own life without relying on another person, moving in with 3 people all of whom are in serious relationships is quite a change. Especially once they start talking about moving in with each other, leaving you to the fact that you have just moved out with your now to be called ex-boyfriend. Once you have hit a certain age it seems that is exactly what you need to do, you have a boyfriend, move in, buy a flat, get engaged, get married and have kids. That is of course a wonderful lifestyle, don’t get me wrong, but what if you have just gotten out of all that, do you really want to go back there?

I didn’t want to go back to all that seriousness, I was just starting to feel myself again, go out and have fun. It was much harder in the countryside then in the city and I really had to learn it the hard way. I didn’t really have a choice, though; all my single friends lived in the city, so I was left to me and dealing with myself. It was sad and pretty tough at times, but it made it so much easier in the end. Most of my coupled friends seem to live a happy life, but so do most of my single friends. And for the moment I am pretty damn happy to be one of them, to have the choice if I want to live in a shared flat, or by myself, if I want to spend all my money on clothes and travelling, if I don’t want to do the dishes for an entire week, if I want to have crazy parties at my house, if I want to kiss with two boys on the same night, if I only want to eat apples and tangerines for a week, if I want to fight or not, to smile or not, to be happy or not. For the most part I am.

7/13/10

wait for more


Some people just get under your skin and stay there. Or that is at least what I keep telling myself, mainly because of this one guy that I cant seem to let go off.

The night we met the connection was instant. He was the only one I saw, smiled at and talked to the entire night. I don’t even remember any of the other people.After the dinner we found of course some excuse to still hang out with each other and left for a bar near by the restaurant. It didn’t even take 10 minutes until I found myself in his strong arms kissing like crazy.

He kept calling for the next few weeks. We’ve spent hours on the phone talking about everything. It was so easy, so natural, he’d made me laugh, he’d calm me down, he’d always knew the right thing to say and he’d always find the right time to call. We’d spend a weekend in the far, far away countryside, just him and me. Two days, four walls, one bed. Nothing really happened though, we continued talking and kissing of course. It felt good, after all this time - if falling in love was really that easy and uncomplicated, I thought, I would do it.

It was not that easy! A couple of days later I had to learn that my newfound prince had a girlfriend. Did he really? How can that be? Why didn’t he tell me? Does he really love her? Should I really think that right now? Shouldn’t I feel horrible to be the other women? The other women I never wanted to be! What do I do? And the worst of all why do I still like him?

He didn’t even try to find excuse, he admitted everything right away but it wouldn’t ease the pain, not this time. I had sticked to the rules, I was smart, witty, funny, incredibly sexy (in the right moments of course) not always available, no pressure nothing.

Everything fell apart within days he would’t call or email anymore, no text message, no good night kiss over the phone, no wake up call nothing. All that was left was this big hole of nothingness.

Week’s even month passed by until I should her from him again. It was a Monday 16:23 in the afternoon. I was in the office as usual working, trying to concentrate, distract myself with work. And then all of a sudden my phone rang I didn’t know the number, so I contemplated for a bit if I should really answer it. But as usual I lost that fight. It was him, I was shocked. I couldn’t talk, I didn’t have to. He was in the city and wanted to see me! Should I do that? He lied to me! He has a girlfriend! Does he still? I am not the other women!

I couldn’t say “No” of course. He was still under my skin, nothing helped he wouldn’t go away, wash off, get out of my life. So, we met for dinner, same place different time. It was exactly like the first time. Before I left my apartment that evening I promised myself to stay away from that guy, to not get dragged into this story again, simply to not liking him. But I couldn’t. As soon as he stepped into the door it was a complete flash back, it was only he and I the entire time, I don’t even remember the other people. After the dinner we found of course some excuse to still hang out with each other and left for a bar near by the restaurant. It didn’t even take 10 minutes until I found myself in his strong arms kissing like crazy.

Some people just get under your skin and stay there, or do I fall in love to easily?

never ending story

via le love.

7/6/10

down under

She arrived down under a day later than expected. The airline had some troubles on the way and so she got stuck in almost every airport she could imagine. Spending a night at a crappy airport hotel in London, being delayed in Hong Kong and spending another night at a Sydney airport hotel, before she finally arrived in Melbourne. Stepping out of the airport a warm, humid air came across her easing her body from the immense travel troubles she’s been having for the last two days. But where would she go? She had no idea about Australia or Melbourne for that matter. The only thing she knew was that she had always wanted to go there, it had been a feeling more than anything else.

And then finally a week ago, she was wondering around the city, looking at pretty shop windows counting the little money she had left to decide in the end that she would not buy anything, she somehow ended up at the airport. Without thinking twice about it she bought a ticket to Melbourne – and here she was.

7/5/10

him and her

He makes her shiver, makes her heart beat faster and eases her at the same time with his sweet words. Those sweet words that he speaks in his deep dark voice, warm, comforting, respectful. Her phone rings she sees his name her heart jumps her mind is calm. A weird connection, one she has never experienced in her life so far. She always knows what to do and how to do it. She doesn’t want advice she doesn’t want people telling her what to do or where to go. He is an exception, though, he gives advice he means well he supports her. He makes her feel strong and independent, he makes her feel she is doing the right thing, going the right way.

She hates when people call her - baby - she loves when he calls her – baby -. She can go for weeks without him, without knowing where he is or what he does, without talking to him or thinking of him and then all of a sudden there he is again, her phone rings, her heart jumps her mind is calm. How does he always figure out the right moment to call? How does he calm her down from far, so very far sometimes?

He is definitely an idiot one she shouldn’t trust, one who is not reliable and one who might just leave and never call you again. She doesn’t want to have a relationship with him, ever, he will betray her, with her best friend, the secretary, the nurse or kinder garden teacher. Yet, he is in her life somehow and she doesn’t want him to leave, to go away. He just makes her feel so good about herself, an independent women in this world, working, working hard in this male dominated environment and still finding her way, being successful, enjoying life in all its beauty. Where is he in this picture and how did he get there. He makes her shiver when he kisses her good-bye.

7/2/10

Umram das Bild in dem ich tauch

mach mir Luft und Atme auf und nehm den Sonnenaufgang mit.

7/1/10