simple is simple is simple is...

picture via r.is your life

When a woman invites her friends for her birthday party, she wants everything to be perfect, the menu has to be extravagant, the table decoration unique, the location should be the newest in town and even a week in advance she can’t really sleep thinking and wishing for everyone to have a wonderful time.

When a man invites his friends for his birthday party, we can be lucky if he tells us about his idea a day in advance and his biggest concern really is to either find a half way decent girl that he can take home that night, it’s his birthday for crying out loud or to get everyone as drunk as possible, of course. Men are pretty simple like that. Simple is good some times, I guess, but how do we know if it really only is simple and when does it turn into indifference?

I have lived with my boyfriend for more than two years. We’ve shared our life and living space and for the most part it was a wonderful time. He was always so easy and relaxed about everything. No matter if I came home from work freaking out about my boss or co-workers, my best friend that had just cancelled our coffee date very last minute or any of the other smallest little things women generally like to turn into something so much bigger. He calmed me down every time, he always had a very simple explanation for everything that had happened, or so it seemed to me, had gone the wrong way. What a great quality you’ll think now, and yes, you are right, that really is a great quality, it seems like such a positive outlook on life, such a sunshine state of mind, easy living – don’t worry be happy. Sounds wonderful, doesn’t it? But once you get to think about it for a moment, is it really that or has it turned into indifference over time? Was I too much, all my worrying, all my concerns and questions, was he so tired from it that he just didn’t care anymore? Up until today I can only guess.

One of my very best friends Mia dated a guy once; everything seemed to be going wonderfully. To make it easier we’ll just call him the boy, anyways, the boy texted and called her every minute of the day, always wanting to meet and spend time with her. Mia, of course, had learned from past experience and wouldn’t fall for the boy in the beginning. As you are supposed to she waited a good amount of time to write him back, call or meet. She cancelled dates last minute, what naturally made the boy only wanting to see her more. He told her how much he’d admire her for what she was smart, funny, sexy, relaxed and how easy she dealt with the fact that he was in a serious relationship! What? Wait a second, slow down – serious relationship? Where the hell is that coming from? It came as a shock, the world stopped for a second and Mia had to sit down. Again – serious relationship – the word just kept repeating itself over an over in her head. How can he not have mentioned it so far, they had been dating for the last month and nothing, nothing, nothing not one sign of a girlfriend, no mentioning, no not picking up the phone, no suspicious moments in public. How could he not let her know such an important fact, how could she have not noticed? As it turned out the girlfriend wasn’t living in the city, but in the far away countryside and apparently she didn’t mind the boy to have one or the other affair. The boy seemed to have a very simple outlook on his relationship - the girlfriend was cute and nice of course and he didn’t need to be alone that way. Other than that he didn’t really care, did he?!

Mia broke everything of right then and there. She was not the other woman and never will be. But one question remained how could someone be so indifferent about such a sensitive topic as love. For the boy it could have been any other girl, he didn’t care.

Not for us though, we don’t want simple, we want someone who cares, complicated and complex, honest and straightforward, someone who has not lost their positive outlook on life.

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