business & pleasure

Never f*** the company – true. We all know the unpleasant and more than embarrassing occurrences during company Christmas parties or outside normal office hours. The shy lady from accounting teams up with the hot guy from HR, the CEO makes out with his secretary that he’s been working with for the last 20 years; and all we can do is sit by and watch or look the other way.

But in a world where our office turns into our living room and our friends and family only get to see us for five minutes at night before we go to sleep or early in the morning before we rush out to catch the metro, is it really that surprising that we fall head over heels for some emotional closeness with our co-workers? And what about the fact that for women it still is that much harder to build a successful career, so where’s the harm in finding other ways to push a career? Should we really not f*** the company or is it just a matter of how discreet and grown up we can handle this rather delicate situation?

One of my very best friends Mia, the one who is always so lucky with men, has build her entire career around this saying. Every Christmas party, birthday celebration or company dinner Mia attended she paid very close attention to not get drunk, to not send any confusing signals to her male colleagues, leave at a decent time, to be on time the next morning and to not get involved with anyone at any time. Stories about co-workers that have been caught making out in the bathroom or out in the parking lodge have always been her biggest fear.

And let’s be honest, 90% of these work-affairs are doomed to cause trouble. One party can feel mistreated by the other, one cannot keep a secret, different rules apply according to different situations but the definitions are hardly ever congruent between the parties involved. Hence, misunderstandings and trouble - big time.

After a couple of years in the business Mia met Mr. handsome at a private party. He was tall, funny and incredibly handsome. The two of them spend a wonderful evening together laughing, flirting and kissing in the end, of course; they even started dating for a little while. No wonder it came as quite a shock when Mr. handsome showed up in Mia’s office one day, but not to bring her flowers and chocolate. As it turned out he was the new head of Mia’s department.

What now? Somehow she was stuck in the middle of a situation she didn’t want to be in. She liked Mr. handsome and he wouldn’t stop flirting with her, not directly in the office, of course, but in emails, small little signs only the two of them would understand and when they ran into each other - alone. Nobody would notice. The looks he gave her were just one second too long, every ever so gentle touch was filled with some kind of affection and every word they exchanged she started analyzing for some double meaning. She knew, she shouldn’t do it, but she could not not do it. Left somewhere between harmless flirtation, a work-affair and something that might ultimately turn into something serious, Mia lost herself and Mr. handsome.

Eventually she had to make a choice to either let a man dominate her career or to live her life according to her own rules. She would never find out if Mr. handsome really could have pushed her career any further, but she can look herself in the mirror knowing that every step she takes and every progress she makes, she accomplished all on her own.

live & learn

- i have learned it the hard way - is what my grandma used to say to me when i was little. and she sure did. she had 4 kids 3 girls, 1 boy. 3 of them, the 3 girls to be exact, she almost raised all by herself. after world war II my grandpa was kept imprisoned somewhere in the UK, he never really spoke about it, so we still don t know about it. this left my grandma alone with 3 young kids, the need for water, food, money and a lot of responsibility. the years went by they lived their life, she raised them, played with them, fed them, and all this time she never knew if my grandpa would ever come back, if he was even still alive. she never stopped, though, she always kept going until one day he was finally home again.

i can say that my grandparents, apart from the above mentioned, lived a very happy life. they had a big house, with an ever bigger garden, they planted fruits and vegetables, their kids gave them lots of grandkids and those grandkids gave them lots of love and happiness.

and one day those grandkids will have their own children. maybe 2 boys and 1 girl, maybe just a boy, maybe 4 girls we don t know yet. and those children will have children and so on and so on and so on.

and there will be one thing they will all have in common, no matter if they have learned it the hard way or not, they will all have a very happy life.

shortcomings

she was lucky, very lucky. she had friends, a job, a roof above her had. she was pretty, too, not exceptionally pretty but pretty enough for people to turn their heads when they saw her on the street.

her friends would call her ruby, because of her shiny long healthy hair. at work she was mrs perfect, because she would do everything on time, in the correct order and format and would never miss or forget anything she was supposed to be doing. she even did everything always, always, always just a couple of minutes before she had to, what made her look even more perfect.

her parents were very proud of her, she had moved away from the country, made it in the big city, with, what seemed to them a big job, a nice apartment and lots of friends. she would send a letter to her parents every week, telling them about her days, her job and any other news she wanted them to know. twice a year she would take on the long journey back to the country to visit her family. she would help her mom clean the house, go food shopping and mowing the lawn with her dad and play with her sisters kids in the garden.

but no one

no one would send her, her favorite flowers

ever...

heart attack

it happened today, totally unexpected or out of the blue as one would say.

as usual lina got to work at nine in the morning. she always gets there at nine and she always leaves at six. only very rarely when there is really lots of work to do lina stays longer, of course. but there almost never is, so she comes at nine and leaves at six. by now her boss should know that, since she works for the same boss for quite a while already. how long again? well, at least one year and a couple of month.

lina works in a big house, you could almost call it a town house. very high ceilings, big windows, beautiful garden, everything is very nice, neat, light, clean she always feels like she is not allowed to touch anything or talk to anyone, because who knows what you could break or do wrong once you open your mouth or move. anyhow, when it happened lina sat infront of her computer working away. she heard a weird and unexpected noise, foot steps at first and then some keys, the door closed, keys in the look turned around

- oh no - lina thought - what is going on, is it six already? - but it wasn't not even close. it was 15:41 and she still had a couple of hours to go until she could leave for the day.

- damn it, what is my boss thinking - she got up from her desk and than it happened, the loudest, shrilling noise you can imagine. a tone so freakishly loud it not only makes your heart stop it scares you to death (well almost).

lina felt like she couldn't breath anymore it was the same feeling she had had that day when she ran into her ex-boyfriend that she had been with for many many years. had lived with him, had shared everything the apartment, money, friends even a dog (which after the break up she gave away to some friends parents. she just couldn't bare the thought of living with that dog after everything that had happened). and then one day she runs into him with the new girl, much younger then lina, long, shiny hair, skinny legs, even skinnier arms, sweet face but not model like, but ok,

but, oh my good it made her heart stop, she couldn't breath it was so unexpected, she didn't know what to do, to say, how to behave, where to turn, or just run.

so, once she had taken a deep breath she did exactly what she did back then. lina ran to the door and just smashed the alarm system, just like she had smashed her ex-boyfriends face the day she saw him with the new girl.

of course her boss couldn't know that, but seriously what the hell was he thinking to lock her in at 15:41. if he was so scared she could leave one day to find a better job, he shouldn't have started something with another girl in the first place.